Aftermath
by Shmootzie
Summary: Chuck can't care anymore. He does not open his eyes, hoping Serena will take the hint. He can t help. He does not have anything left.  Serena is clueless as ever or maybe she just does not care.
1. After the wedding

_This came from nowhere after reading some spoilers of GG episode. Please don`t read if you have not seen the chapter. After seeing the chapter tonight I modify it a little bit. I am a huge Chair fan, but right now I like the idea of this fanfic. I do not know if it is going to be one chapter only, let`s see. Sorry if my grammar is not the best. Gossip girl does not belong to me. This is just a little non profit fun._

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><p>He suddenly feels very tired, he fought with everything just to give up at the last minute. But at the end of the day, it was her choice. And he lost.<p>

She said she loves him and still she did not choose him. She chose a loveless marriage over him. Her fairy tale against her fate.

She was his fate. They were meant to be together. It does not matter anymore.

The "I am protecting thee" theory is good, but their love should have been bigger than that. She should have chosen him.

Now he is home and not even Monkey is there. He sent the pup to sleep somewhere else. He did not want to accidentally hurt him if he went crazy in one of his tantrums. Old Chuck Bass would have throw the biggest party in NY City, get as high a kite and forget all about the love of his life tying the knot with someone who was not him.

He sighs. He feels pathetic. He takes out his jacket and his bow tie, and throws himself to bed. It used to smell like her. Not anymore. Not ever again.

He lost her. He wants to scream in rage and hit something, but he has not more energy left.

Someone enters the suite. But is not Blair. Blair's heels make a distinct sound.

"Chuck" His sister's voice is full of pity and concern.

He does not want her pity, not her concern. So he ignores her. Maybe if she thinks he is asleep he will let him be. No such luck. That happens when the people whose drama you are involved in, know you since the tender age of 5. She sits on his bed.

"Can we talk? Blair is still missing and..."

He does not care. He can't care anymore. He does not open his eyes, hoping Serena will take the hint. He can`t help. He does not have anything left.

Serena is clueless as ever or maybe she just does not care.

"She left. She suddenly left and nobody knows where she is. I thought she may be here. That she may reconsider..."

_Why would she? She did not choose him. She left him._

"Obviously she is not" he answers not turning around to look at her.

"Dan is missing too" she continues, without a care of being ignored. "I think she is with him. But why will Blair run away with Dan? I mean, I know they are friends, but we are the breakfast club and…I told Dan I love him…because I do and…why would he leave me? And Blair…"

Serena keeps babbling, but he is not hearing anymore, he suddenly is angry, his blood boils._ Really? Really? Run away with Humphrey?_ He knows Dan loves Blair How could he not?. She is Blair fucking Waldorf. And he could let Blair be Lonely Boy´s muse. Nothing wrong with that. But that Blair chose Dan to disappear with? His stomach lurches and he can swear his heart just crack.

Suddenly Serena is embracing him from behind. He realizes he is shaking and that he is sobbing like a small child. He wants to stop, wants to push Serena away from him but instead finds himself turning around and burying his face in her chest and letting everything out.

All his pain,loss and fear, comes out in waves of darkness that floods his senses. He cannot see, he cannot hear, and he does not care. This sucks. This should not be happening. He changed, he became the man she wanted. He loves her, she loves him..why? _Why I lose everything I loves?_ He despairs. He feels like he is going insane. Serena is his only line to reality, the only warmth in a world that suddenly has turn too cold. It hurts. Like hell.

Serena is crying too, not that he notices. She stops talking about Dan and forgets about him the second she notices the shaking coming from Chuck.

She instinctually hugs him when heart wrenching sobs fill the silent room. He tenses for a second, and suddenly he turns around and breaks down. Totally breaks down.

Serena bits her lip. She is worried. She has never seen Chuck cry like this before not even after Bart . Chuck Bass does not break down.

But the true is Chuck Bass has always been broken. Even thought, he became a better man despite all the odds saying otherwise. Nobody believe in him and he manage to be a decent person. He just showed it by letting Blair take the decision instead of playing one of his little games. And know she is afraid that all that hard work, everything he has manage is going to be toss away in pain and frustration.

So he lets him cry and starts rubbing circles in his back in an attempt to comfort him, and it appears to her that he is crying not only for yesterday events, he is crying for his past, for his present and probably for his future. And she cries with him because Dan left and Blair left and Chuck is broken maybe this time for good and this is a mess.

Time goes by and eventually the sobs are gone and a tear streak Chuck Bass is staring at her with so much sadness and so much despair that she does what she knows best.

She kisses him. Serena knows her value and knows she is more than just a pretty face and a fabulous body but being a creature of pleasure and beauty is something she excels in. She has looked for approval and love in this way countless of time, never finding it, but sometimes she finds solace in the thoughtless act of sex making, never love, because love is something Serena seems to be unable to find. And she kisses him, because Chuck is a creature of flesh and passion like her and she needs to take that horrible look from his face.

Also...she is lonely. And she is hurting.

Chuck is surprised at first but accepts the kiss. Serena´s mouth is warm and needy. And he needs, craves warm and to be need. So he responds, and suddenly he is on top of her, his hands cradling her head, her hair is all wrong, too long, blond and sunny, no chocolate dark, and his other hand traveling over her legs that are too long, hips too wide to be perfect, to be Blair´s. Funny thing Blair always thought Serena was better than her and in this moment Charles Bass the only thing capable of doing while kissing and touching this woman is comparing her to Blair and finding everything wrong, because Blair´s body, Blair´s hair, Blair´s scent, Blair´s mouth, everything Blair is means perfection to him. And Serena is not Blair, so everything is wrong and is never going to get better.

Chuck´s reaction is fierce and he is losing himself and Serena finds she is enjoying this too much . His hands travel her body and hesitate just a second when he reaches her legs but the next second they continue their intrepid exploration. Chuck is good, has always been good. When they were entering their teens, they explore each other, they have always been the precocious kids of the NBCS club. He seems to remember everything, and she knows this is wrong, should not be happening but is the only thing right now she can offer and besides, really? She is enjoying herself. This makes her forget how her gran gesture was ignore.

He stops suddenly and slides next to her. She is not Blair and he has no right in using her like that. She was offering comfort the only way she knows and he was taking advantage of it. Serena is delicious and sexy and pretty as always, but she is not Blair and he is not going to do that again. Jenny Humphrey was a mistake and he now learns from his mistakes

She closes her eyes and feels a little disappointed he stopped but is grateful too. The consequences will have been terrible. She starts getting up, feeling shame so she stands up and straightens her dress. He has turn his back to her.

When she is about to leave, she hears his voice.

"Serena...stay...please" He sounds exhausted. "I just...nothing will happen...just...don`t leave"

Serena goes back to bed. The fall asleep shortly after it. Tomorrow, was going to be another day. And maybe it will look better.


	2. Love in Times of Cholera

_Mmm, I will continue this. Let`s see what happens. I mention Love in Times of Cholera because it is one of my favorite books. If you have not read it I suggest you go and look for a review about it online or read the book. Is great!_

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><p>Serena flies to Florida. She is too confused and hurt, by Dan and Blair, after all the Runaway bride fiasco. She does not understand what the hell is wrong with the brunette. She asks Cecee is she can stay at the family house in Miami and leaves without saying goodbye.<p>

She arrives and unpacks and cries almost all the time. It hurts, damn it, and it should not hurt like this, not after so many years.

Two days later, Chuck Bass is in the entrance. He looks pale and hung over and she asks him what he is doing there. He shrugs. "I thought I could keep you company"

She nods and ignores him the rest of the day and until the next. It is already dark when she walks out of the house and finds him, just sitting here, next to the pool, reading Love in Times of Cholera which is sick and obsessive in her opinion. She has cried all day for unrequited love, and he is reading a book that goes on and on about it?

_"Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no." _he says softly to break the silence with his deep voice and closes the book. Serena thinks it is so appropriate for Blair`s situation.

"I don`t like that book. It is morbid and stupid he waits for her so long. All his life! " she sits next to him

"Yeah a lot of people thinks that of this book, but it talks about different types of love." He pauses and takes a strand of her long hair, distractedly."Young love, love between a newly weds, of an old couple, of lovers, of mother and son, family love...and unrequited love"

"I did not read it complete. I just copied B`s report for that class" She leans in his touch. Always been a sucker of having her hair touch. It relaxes her.

"I did too. But then one day I just picked it up and find that is a really good book" he runs his fingers gently along her scalp. So different from Blair. Who is in Monaco. Who left him for the millionth time, even if he offer her to be free.

_"Y_ou will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no"__

He has not doubt she will.

"You are such a nerd" Serena`s laugh breaks his thoughts.

"Am I? I am Chuck Bass. Chuck Bass is not a nerd"

"yada yada yada"

"Payback time, sis"

He tickles her. And she laughs. And attacks back. Serena is a pro, having a younger sibling and therefore being train for tickle wars almost all her life.

Suddenly he is walking backwards trying to defend himself and with a big splash falls in the pool.

"Chuck?" Serena is laughing like crazy.

He is not getting out. The pool is dark and she cannot see him. Serena stops laughing immediately.

"Chuck?" A note of fear accompanies the question.

Suddenly he jumps out and pulls her inside with him.

She is furious and wants to smack him, but he is laughing and Chuck never laughs, not lately anyway.

So she finds herself laughing with him and for a while, they just laugh in the darkness.

He finds he likes her laugh.

After a while they went out, change and were having dinner. Grilled cheese with truffle oil. Serena`s favorite.

"It was nice to hear you laugh again. It has been a long time." she comments out of the blue.

"I had a good time. It was nice to hear you laugh again, even if you laugh like a 5 year old" he smirks.

She punches him lightly in the shoulder.

"Chuck?"

"Yes, S?"

"I don`t want to go back yet. Stay?"

"Sure sis. I can do that"

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><p><em>Next Chapter: "It was always without pretensions of loving or being loved, although always in the hope of finding something that resembled love, but without the problems of love."<em>

_Mmm maybe I will use some quotes from the book since Gossip Girl writers are turning the series in a eternal struggle for Chair fans like myself._

_Anyway read and review, because reviews are love._


	3. When we were young

_I make some corrections to this chapter. When I wrote it I was falling asleep but the muse never shut up. Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them And about if I am a native speaker, nope. My mother tongue is Spanish but I like to write in English. Works as practice._

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><p>Their little vacation lasts a month. This time they were gracious enough to let Lily know where they were and she was grateful. Her two wildest children together is not an idea she found brilliant, but was happy they keep each other company. So while they are in Miami, they party, like they used to party but without the drugs and the alcoholic congestions they used to get. They start at sunset and come back home after dawn, happy and drunk. She giggles and dances and is wild and beautiful, and he is dark and handsome with his scotch and with his mysterious ways. They dance and let themselves be touch, until it gets too painful. Nobody is Blair, not near her. Nobody is Dan. So they dance and fool around but don´t fuck anybody because they are not ready.<p>

One day the go shopping, and Serena is surprised Chuck can buy more than her. He collects bags of whatever he sees and gets at least 20 suites, 15 pairs of shoes and 4 swimsuits. No speedos was the rule.

She convinces him in a pair of Armani jeans and they hit the town with a casual dress Chuck Bass who does not stop complaining he looks like a peasant even if he looks hot and sexy and all yummy. He looks younger too without the suit and the hair style that has become his signature.

While they are dancing, (I´m sexy and I know it) she realizes in fact how young they are. They are 21 years old. She looks around to the carefree dancing sweating bodies around her. Most of them have normal problems, university being hard, boyfriend cheating, smothering mothers and stern fathers. They don´t marry princes abandoning the love of their lives, get books published, get shot or deal with a dead body caused by an overdose of cocaine.

So suddenly she starts sibling and hugs Chuck for dear life. It is so unfair. She panics. How the hell at 21 they have live so much crap?

Chuck is talking to her but she is hyperventilating and she is not listening. He picks her up, hard thing considering she is taller than him, even without heels.

The limo is waiting and they get inside.

"Serena, Serena, baby look at me" he hold her chin up and finds her eyes.

Did he just call her baby? She cries harder. They are so young. What the hell is wrong with them?

"What is wrong?"

She continues crying. They arrive home and he carries her, stumbling a little as he goes upstairs. He is a little bit drunk and annoyed that he cannot make Serena stop crying or telling him what is going on.

He has never been good with tears, not even with Blair.

"Serena, please tell me what is wrong" he uses his authoritative voice.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry"

"What are you sorry for? It was not that fun of a club" he tries to joke.

"Not that. I never understood...how much has happened to you...you almost die two times already Chuck and you are just 21! "

"Well.." he shifts uncomfortable. "Life sometimes is hard"

"It is so unfair. Our life is too full of crap! My dad`s fiasco, Tripp, Georgina, Carter´s political scandal...if this is happening at 21, what wil happen when we are 30? Can you imagine?"

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes deeply. Serena has not let go of him,still clinging to him. He lays down, so they both can be more comfortable.

"You will probably be married. Maybe your second marriage. And with a blond kid that will be mischievous but such a darling nobody will be able to say no to him. Not even me."

"I am serious Chuck"

"I am too sis. Your kid is gonna be rotten spoiled by every member in his family. And you will travel and do charity work and will be the rebel matron of the Upper East Side. Like Lily."

Serena closes her eyes. He is caressing her hair and his voice is low and soft and is calming her down.

"You will be happy like her too. You shine bright sis. And you just will get brighter" He believes it. Serena is so full of life and laughter, he cannot think of her becoming dark and shallow like a lot of people he knows. Like he feels sometimes.

She is falling sleep. Chuck`s words make her feel better. But something is nagging her mind.

"You will too" she says suddenly.

"Pardon me?"

"You will happy too"

He laughs short and bitter,

"I dunno. Without her..."

"Blair will come back. If not you will move on"

"I am not sure I will ever forget her.."

She gets comfortable and pulls his arm around her.

"No worries big bro...I now Blair...she is going to come back..."

"hmm"he just mumbles. The pain is too fresh.

"Stay?" Serena whisper before falling asleep.

Chuck sighs and tries to move but Serena´s hold on him is too strong. He decides he is very tired ad Serena is warm and nice.

Next morning, they wake up in each others arms, with their clothes on. It was no sex. It was company and human contact and feeling someone who loves you near you. Fraternal love. Friendship.

They wake with each other for the rest of the month.


	4. Scream like you mean it

_New chapter. A little melt down. I don`t like Chuck just mopes around. So he is going to have a breakdown and maybe if it feels like it, this story may turn a Serena/Chuck. Hope you like it. Thanks for the reviews. I make some corrections to the last chapter. I am not against Dair, but is crap for me to have the biggest story of love ever and Blair is being so difficult. _

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><p>Things are easy for a while but it is short live. They came back from Miami and life went on.<p>

Chuck with his business and Serena thinking once again what to do with her life. She still writes for Nate, but seems Gossip Girl is back for good and people are sending her their stories again.  
>And she is getting bored.<p>

Everything is good until St Valentines. Blair is back in town, and somehow her best friend manages to make a disaster of it.

That kiss was like a slap. So much talking about getting her back with Dan to be kissing him a few hours after.

Blair´s betrayal hurts maybe a little tiny bit more than Dan, not wanting her. She was healing ok.

She goes to Blair´s apartment. Dorota is not home. She packs a bag and asks the driver to take her to the Empire. She cannot stay with Blair`s after this.

She hopes Chuck is home.

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><p>Chuck is having the longest bath ever. His skin is red and tender, the bathroom mirror is cover by steam. Maybe if he stays under the water enough he will be able to clean himself from Blair´s lingering presence in his skin and memories.<p>

All he could think about while he was seducing Dan´s editor, was how she was not Blair. And strangely enough Serena flashed through his mind a couple of times while she was kissing Alessandra. He has put that woman in a cab after extracting a little bit of dirt about Humphrey.

But he does not know what to do with it. Because really? Louis is a prince. A real life he actually offered Blair a fairy tale and throne. So he could understand why she will choose him. Louis once made her happy and loved her. He can understand Louis. Even the piece where she did not want him to pay the dowry. Pride is their biggest sin. But really, for his life, he can not understand Dan.

He said once that he will always fight for her. But how long and how many suitors can he fight? How many times can he stand she saying no, in favor of someone she considers better than him?

He was not loyal to her once. He sold her. He is sorry. He has paid his penance. He lost her. But not happy with that, she make him pay. With her love, undying love that turns into rejection. She loves him but has rejected him, more times than anyone  
>should endure.<p>

Blair is his fate .Or that is what he likes to think. He changed for her. Became everything she wanted him to be. And even thought she rejects him.

_"You have change your decision making and style of life, because it was your choice Charles._ _Maybe Blair was the catalyst and a big help. But this, what you have manage so far, is because__you are a good person. With or without Blair. Don't forget that"_

He turns off the water. He has been thinking about those words since his last session with the theraphist. He changed for her and she did not want him. But maybe, just maybe it should not be the end of the world.

Maybe he should move on. He is tired of mopping, being unhappy and being alone.

"I am Chuck Bass" he whispers, staring at the mirror. The image stares at him. He tries to smile and instead he smirks.

"I am Chuck Bass" he repeats again. Suddenly he recognizes himself in the mirror. He can see the man he has become, but also the devilish rascal is there and he has been ignore for too long. Is part of who he is. Dark and light. Maybe a little more dark. And he has been neglecting himself. Just to be loved by her.

He told Blair he love her light and her darkness. That she is his light..

Blair could not stand his darkness and wish for him to change… Blair does not want him for who he is.

_How can she claim she loves me?_

He stops feeling sorry for himself. The fury and the rage are stronger than anything else and he starts screaming. He screams his name over and over, his motto, what define him five years ago.

_I am Chuck Bass. _

_I am fucking Chuck Bass. _

_Chuck Bass does not take crap from anyone._

_Chuck Bass always gets what he wants_

_Chuck Bass does not fall in love._

_Chuck Bass is not a whimpering fool_

Suddenly he slams his fist against the image that is staring at him, enraged and disgusted with himself. He hits the mirror until there is only pieces of it and his hands are covered by his blood. As his fury dissolves a wave of nausea hits him and he slumps against the wall.

He is Chuck Bass. And he has been a fool.

He really has changed. He should be drinking himself to oblivion. And he has not change at all, his hands covered by his own blood. He is Chuck Bass, but he is not the same cocky teenager, and he is not the softy and perfect gentleman he tries so hard to portrait. He is…something in between. His head hurts.

Monkey is whining out the door. He wishes he could open it, but they are pieces of the mirror all over the floor and his puppy can get hurt. Well at least his heart is still working. He cares his stupid mutt gets hurt. He laughs a little.

Suddenly he realizes he is not drunk, no high, so losing control like this is crazy. And stupid. So stupid is funny. So incredible stupid that is legendary. He starts laughing. Laughing at the silly thing his life has become, wanting a girl who does not want him, who chooses a prince and a peasant over him. Who chooses anyone but him, even thought she is his destiny, his fate, the love of his life. Is a hollow laugh, devoid of happiness and warm. He is such a fool.

He feels like he is going insane and probably he sounds like he already is, but he does not care. He has to let it out, because if not he is going to explode. Like a nuclear bomb.

He keeps laughing. He cannot do anything else. At least for now.

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><p>Serena enters to the loft. It is dark and the first thing she hears is Monkey whimpers. She walks towards where the whimper comes from. Monkey is there and looks at her with his enormous puppy eyes asking help. The bathroom door is closed and she can hear Chuck in there laughing softly. "Chuck?" she softly asks and when se receives no answer , opens the door.<p>

Serena Van der Woodsen feels like she is going to break right there. She closes the door as the pup try to enter. Monkey starts to howl and bark. He is angry. Wants to help.

Trembling she sits next to him. He does not notice, he is still laughing softly, just a bitter little laugh but is the most horrible sound Serena has heard Chuck make. Tears are also falling down his cheeks. She calls his name a couple of times, but he just stares ahead and eventually gets quiet. She wants to help but does not know what to do. This looks too surreal. He is bleeding from his hands. There is a lot of blood and pieces of glass lying around. She wants to help. But does not know how. She is too cold and too shock. What if he dies? She does not move.

A few minutes later he whispers so low she almost did not catch it .

"Stay?" he does not move. Just extends his hand to her.

She smiles sadly. He does not have to ask. She takes his hand it inmmediatly "Always Chuck. Always"

He nods and holds her hand and stays quiet.

With her other hand she calls Nate. She needs reinforcement. And is time for him to start acting like the best friend he supposedly is.

Chuck is asleep when the ambulance gets there. Serena never leaves his side.

A pale Nate orders the maids to order the mess and keep it private. He is shaking when he gets to his room.

Charles Bass just broke.


	5. Best friend

_Small update. _

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><p>Dan is walking down the street.<p>

Suddenly he is slammed against a building.

Is Nate Archibald and he does not look happy.

"Nate, what the hell?"

"What do you mean what the hell? What is wrong with you? How can you do this to Serena? To Chuck?"

"I don´t know what you are talking about"

"Hell of course you know! Well listen me up! You and Blair are done hurting my friends. I have been ignoring all your big love drama triangle, because frankly you people are ridiculous. We are not in high school anymore!"

"Well you just made your little party…" Dan gets slammed again. Who the hell knew Nate Archibald was such a strong dude.

"That is not the point"

"Let go of me. I did not do anything"

"You kiss Blair. Even if you know about Chuck…and you were playing with Serena"

"I never told Serena I wanted to go back to her. She and I are done. And about Blair? Yeah I kiss her and she kiss me back. I am going to fight for her because she deserves more than Chuck. And she loves me. She said so herself" finally shouts a furious Dan.

People were looking at them but nobody interfere.

Nate sighs. He lets go of Dan. This is too complicated and this crap has been going on for too long. Is not about great gestures anymore. Or love. His best friend is at the hospital after a damn mental breakdown. Chuck has been in this hospital too many times in Blair related dramas.

Enough is enough.

"It does not matter anymore Dan. You and Blair stay away from Chuck. Make sure you tell her"

"But…"

"Shut up! Just tell her ok?…and then do what you want. Chuck is done with Blair. Tell Blair I love her but right now, neither Serena or I want her around Chuck. She made a choice, now she has to live with it. You win. She wins. Just leave Chuck alone. And just for the record, you and I are no longer friends. You are not what you seem and I am tired of all this little games and lies."

"Why do you care so much? Chuck Bass is scum!" Dan shouts again.

And is when Nate hits him. Directly on the jaw. Dan is shocked and falls down on his butt. He can't believe Nathaniel just hit him.

"I care because he is my friend. And Chuck Bass is much better man than you will ever be, at least he is honest about what he is and he is not" Nate answers. For a second Dan looks like he wants to fight back but the next moment he looks ashamed. Before he says anything Nate turns around and walks away.

Nate`s fist hurts and he knows he should not have hit Dan, but at the end of the day he deserved it. This is a mess. And usually he knows, Chuck can fix whatever stupid drama he gets involved. After all he is smarter than he is, no shame on admitting that. Also he is stronger and more devious. He knows. Chuck has saved Nate´s ass more times than he is actually aware of. Same goes for Serena and even Blair.

This time he is the one that is going to protect him. This time he is going to be a good friend. He will not fail Chuck again.


	6. Interlude: Hospital

_Hi. This is where I will change the story a little. There is no Ivy anymore in the story, to keep things simple and smooth. She left when the accident and that is it. Hope you like it._

Chuck was diagnosed besides his hands being hurt, with malnourishment and dehydration. Also he was exhausted. After arriving to the hospital he slept for two days straight.

Lily was assured this was product of neglecting himself, rather than using drugs or being under the influence of alcohol, which was the only thing to stop her of getting him in Ostroff Center. The image of her own baby boy, lying in a pool of his own blood, with his wrists wide open, white as a sheet, is something that will hunt her forever, and she is not allowing Chuck to finish in the same fashion. So she was making sure Charles goes to live with her at least for a while and make sure he will be ok.

Nate and Serena stay at the hospital almost all the time, even if Chuck was asleep. They talk about everything and anything, but most of the talk is about the boy who lies in the bed. They knew how destructive Chuck can be and they were worried what will happen now , specially after what Blair had told Nate, when she call to see how Chuck was doing . In essence it was , that she love Chuck but was not in love with him anymore, and that she was very very sorry, but that Dan has her heart now. Which Nate definitely thinks is bullshit from Blair`s part and he let her know that before hanging the phone. Nate is furious about how Blair has been playing with everybody, Chuck, Louis and even Dan. When he commented Serena, she shake her head and felt disappointment and dread, and realize what really hurt were Blair`s actions and not that Dan was lost to her. So they make a plan and it consists that they are going to give his friend all the support they can, even if they have to fight Chuck`s natural destruction tendencies.

All hell breaks lose when Cece Rhodes is admit in the same hospital. Dying . Serena and Lily rush to her side, because blood runs deep and she has few hours left. Nate runs errands for both of them like contacting Carol and supporting a crying Serena.

Chuck Bass wakes up in the middle of that chaos. For a moment he is disoriented. Then he remembers and closes his eyes. Great. Hospital again. Waking up alone, again.

Or so he thinks.

Suddenly he realizes there is somebody in the room, and is someone he did not expect, not even in one million years after everything that has happened between them.

Georgina Sparks is sitting right her with a big smile in her face. Maybe he is hallucinating.

Is his theory until she smiles wider and breaks the silence of the room.

"Hey sleepy head, it was time for you to wake up. We need to talk"

She is real after all. Sounds like Georgina. He groans a little.

Maybe waking alone was not that bad after all.


	7. Hope

_Thanks for the reviews and adding this story to their favorites. I really like Georgina this last episodes and her minion husband. The kiss they shared at the end is the idea behind this chapter. Remember no Ivy._

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><p>"Georgina? What the hell are you doing here?"<p>

"Oh, not happy to see me?"

"Not really"

"Oh, who you were expecting? Blair Waldorf?" she asks sardonically and there is a flash of pain in his eyes that Georgina have never seen before.

"What do you want? Want to kick a man when he is down? Here is your chance" he retorts without strength. He is so tired.

She sighs and the smile disappears from her face.

"I am not here to make fun of you. We need to talk. Ok no, scratch that, I am going to talk and you are going listen" she says softly

Chuck raises an eyebrow. Georgina´s evil spark has left her eyes at least for the moment. She almost looks like when they were 12 and they were friends.

It was a long time ago.

"I come to tell you...that you deserve better than Waldorf. That you should let her go"

"I lo..."

"Shh, I do the talking!" Georgina snaps playfully. "I know you love her. But can you explain how come a girl that declares her undying love for you one week, is now in love with Dan Humphrey"

"She is not in love with Dan. She is just confused"

"Oh no my dear. Dan and Blair are an item. Call it Blaan, Mm that sounds wrong, lets call it Dair!"

"She is married to Louis"

"Not anymore. I help her out of it"

"You?"

"I want Blair in my debt. It was easy enough. Not telling what I did, but lets say Blair owes me big. After I took care of her little problem, she went to Brooklyn"

Chuck felt pain in his chest again.

Georgina suddenly is calling his name.

"Oh come on, don´t do this to me. A nurse is going to come and our little talk will be interrupt. Can`t have that. Breathe, Breathe"

He calms down following her voice. "Georgina, what do you want? Please leave" he pleads. He can´t have her mocking him right now.

"I want you to stop this. Look how you react when I told you that. You have to stop it. You may love her, but if you go on like this you will destroy yourself."

"Why do you care?"

She shrugs but smiles a little.

"We used to be friends. I took your virginity little boy. I am looking for you"

"I don`t need anyone to look after me. I am alone"

"Alone? This was my only chance to get you alone, since you get in here two days ago?"

"What are you talking about?"

Dumb blonde 1 and dumb blonde 2 and blondy mommy were around all the time. Never left you alone for a second. But blondy grandmother was admitted a couple of hours ago and they had to go"

"Cece is here?" he tries to get up, she gently restrains him.

"Shh, calm down. Yep she is here. But the point is you were not alone. You have people that care about you Bass. Blair is not the only human being that loves you or that you can love. You deserve better, and you should give yourself the chance to be happy without her"

"What will you know about that?"

Georgina rolls her eyes and smiles. A real sincere smile.

"I will tell you something. You can find happiness and love in the least expected places. Maybe it was there all the time. I know that because strangely enough I did"

"Who are you and what you have done with evil Georgina Sparks?"

"Show some respect. I mean...if you tell someone this, I will kill you. Ok? And you know coming from me that is not an empty threat. I am happy...most of the time. I get insanely bored, because lets face it, I am an evil genius who needs to use her powers once in a while, but aside from bored I am happy. I love Milo. He changed my life in ways I cannot explain. Since..I hold him I knew I will use all my evil powers to protect and love that little boy. And there is also Phillip. When I marry him it was all about money and getting Milo a last name. I thought I was going to wait a couple of months, rip his money off with a divorce and be gone. But something happened. Suddenly I found out that he is an excellent minion..if you deliver instructions step by step. He is good to Milo, and he loves that kid as it was his. He totally adores me, and he supports me in anything I choose to do for the chance that I am happy. Which strangely makes me feel all mushy inside, and that is why I am here, playing family. Because I like it, and makes me happy .So maybe...maybe is not the perfect life I imagine, or my world domination plans in motion or the love I imagine when I was younger, but is something, is real and is there."

"Wow...drugs must be strong. I just saw you being human" Chuck comments with a smirk but has a new respect for Georgina and everything she said, somehow make sense to him.

"Only time probably pretty boy. What I am saying is don´t close you doors to the future because Blair is not in the picture anymore. You and I are more alike than you think. And I really think that you can be happy if you stop obsessing about a woman that took you for granted. Because that is what she did"

Steps are coming nearer and Georgina stands up.

"Well I have to go. Hope this little conversation helps a little. We are back to being enemies or whatever we are. Just wanted to say it" she starts walking towards the door.

"We are not enemies. This is the Upper East Side. "

"Wathever"

"Georgie?"

Has been a decade since he call her Georgie. She stops and looks back.

Chuck Bass is smiling. Somehow if Georgina can be happy and have people that loves her, he may be happy someday too. So what she had given him in that moment, was an enormous gift and they both now it.

She gave him Hope.

"Thank you"

* * *

><p>As Georgina enters the limousine, the driver looks at her strangely.<p>

"Excuse me, Miss Sparks, everything ok?"

"Oh yes. Let`s get going"

The driver gives her a puzzled look and closes the door. Maybe she has something in her face. She takes out her mirror.

And to her absolute surprise, she founds she is crying.

Seems she is human after all.


	8. Lunch

A few weeks after Cece`s death and his little breakdown, Chuck Bass demonstrates he is a changed man. Instead of running away to some island or seek bloody revenge against Brooklyn, he has been coping the way his father always did: working his ass off.

He is still processing all that has happened, including that weird Georgina Sparks peep talk. He feels a little more at peace with the knowledge that he has a family and friends that care about him and that love is not Blair Waldorf`s exclusive territory. He has been living at the loft, and in those few hours he is not working, the Van der Woodsen clan makes sure he feels welcome and loved in their own particularly way. And Nate, has been hanging around when time allows the young journalist, apologizing for being a shitty friend.

Today he is looking for some new investments in Europe, that are driving him crazy. There is Monaco in the list of countries and he sighs. the reason he works so hard is not to think about her. . He has not seen her for weeks now, but he has read the papers and know they are not kind to her, call her a slut, a harlot, mentally inestable, which is a little bit harsh but guess that is what you get when in a wedding you declare your love to a billionare, marry a prince and then divorce him to be with a nobody from Brooklyn. So knowing Blair she is denying reality, hiding in the hole Brooklyn calls home. Good for her. A wave of bitterness and anguish hits him and he sits down, defeated. His mind rushes for ways to escape the pain and the hurt and...

Serena enters the room. She is babbling something about lunch. She is all smiles and looks happy. Her blog is going ok and Lola, the real Charlie Rhodes, seem to be warming to her. She sits in his desk, still talking and starts to take out all the japanese food she got on her way here.

The anguish recedes. Something stupid happened to Nate, that he cannot help but snort in amusement and the bitterness vanishes, as all Blair related thoughts as he listens to Serena`s day and feels himself relaxing.

He cannot understand it, but lately Serena seems to be his savior. His light in the dark.

And he is grateful.

Serena is talking without stop. She has keys to the office and his secretary always lets her pass (since seems is the only way to make her boss stops working and improves his mood) so she goes straight to his desk and does not let him argue about anything, while she puts food in front of him.

She worries about him so she decided to take care of him. The sight of him lying on the floor was something that will give her nightmares for years. For a long time Chuck Bass took care of himself , maybe not the best way but he did not rely in anyone. Then Blair came and taught him to rely on her, to trust her and let her take care of him. And with her gone, Chuck was left in a storm of problems, alone.

She has never been alone. Not really. So she is not leaving him alone this time either. She is going to be there, and make him eat, smile and take a break while he is trying to forget through work. She will make sure he knows he has a family and people that cares about him.

Also...that makes her feel useful. And less lonely.

This little lunch ambush is a success as he starts eating and snorts at the story how Nate was dragged around Central Park by Monkey chasing a squirrel. Wathever was worrying him (Blair), stopped, because at the end of the lunch he was laughing.

What S does not get, is in which moment she decided to kiss him.

Small update.


	9. Champions final

Chuck wonders about women. They are so…mysterious? irrational? crazy? evil? unstable?  
>The thing with women is that they tend to drive him crazy. All the women in his life, with maybe Eva as an exception, were strong willed independent bitches. The news about Nate`s cougar being his mother, all the situation with Blair, Lily becoming Cece Rhodes and Serena`s kissing him, was a proof.<p>

Maybe he should be gay. Or go back to hiring company, that was easy stuff. Just business.

So he sighs and gets ready for his manly night with Nate, that somehow Eric got invited, which consisted in watching the Champions League final (go Chelsea!), drinking and after the game playing some FIFA or Need for Speed or something manly.

For such a manly plan, Chuck finds himself with a bored Serena resting her head on his lap and bitching about how soccer is soooo boring and stealing his food. After the kiss, the atmosphere was a little bit awkward but now the two of them act as if never happened. It had been an spontaneous, sweet thing from a naturally physical and warm Serena.

"Come on guys…I want to go out. We can go skating"

"Shhh" Nate throws a potato chip to Serena who in retaliation throws a peanut. Eric grabs the popcorn on the table, and protects it.

Chelsea scores. Nate growls in frustration and Chuck highfives Eric in a weird gesture of the billionare.

"Well, now we know who is going to win, can we go?"

"There are 20 minutes left. Shut up and eat your peanuts like a good si..girl" he pats her head and ignores her pout.

He does not call her sis anymore. Feels weird somehow. He does not want to think about it really.

Twenty minutes later and the two teams have the same score. Can`t be. So extra times.

"Seriously? How long is this thing?"

She is silenced by unanimity. What is with boys and sports? She relaxes against Chuck. Should feel weird after the kiss and his silence after it, but instead she feels good about it.

She likes being with Chuck. He has change in a better man but still is the fun friend she used to know. She feels free with him, like she can be herself. Chuck does not intend any of his friends to change, he accepts you white, gray, dark. The only thing Chuck does not forgive is betrayal. And he is not easy to befriend. But once you are his friend, basically means you are accepted. Also he is an excellent pillow. He is warm, soft and the silk suit makes you feel like you are on nice expensive silk sheets.

He loses his excellent pillow grade when he suddenly jumps out the coach to celebrate the penalty his team just scored.

Serena throws a peanut to him from the floor where she lies after being dropped of the coach and his lap. Nate is growling and Eric is chanting some Chelsea fan related cheering.

She is about to express her indignation at this treatment until her eyes met Chuck`s. He is smiling, not smirking, and he looks happy.

So she joins the cheering.

It was a good evening. Serena beat everybody, even at drinking.

The housekeeper enter the penthouse later next day, to find four sleeping young adults on the coach and what seem like an battle camp where chips were used as ammunition. She smiles a little. Will think a billionare boy is different from her own kids. Guess not.

* * *

><p><em>Well this in honor of all my coworkers that went to see the soccer game today. I am from Mexico, so soccer here, even European is a big deal! Everybody was surprised because Real Madrid and Barcelona, two of the greatest teams in soccer, were beat. So the final is Chelsea between some German team, so I am rooting for Chelsea.<em>

_Hope you like the chapter. Is a small fun thing before Blair`s meltdown when she finds out how things are going between S and C. I am big Chair fan, but the show sucks lately and not because of the Dair. Don`t know how to explain it._

_Thanks for the reviews._

Cheers


	10. Where are you?

"S, where are you?"  
>She giggles. Chuck sounds worried.<p>

Good.

Blair Waldorf goes to look after him, makes goo eyes and he falls back to her clutches.

"S!"

"I don`t know. But I miss you. Is Blair there? Are you his bitch again?"

"Serena, baby...where are you? Wherever you are, I am going to get a plane and go pick you up.."

His voice is silk and the most familiar thing Serena has heard in a two months. She is calling him because she saw a post in Gossip Girl about Chuck Bass being in Paris, opening hotels, and with him the Blair Waldorf.

She is drunk and high and lonely, in some hotel room in LA. A nice hotel, mind you, she is fucking Serena Van der Woodsen.

She wonders if he is going to come and pick her up. He sounds worried. She does not like to make Chuck worried. He gets cranky and boring.  
>She giggles. Cranky...Chuck, Crunch, chocolate!<p>

" Serena? Are you there? Where are you, sweetie? Everybody is so worried. We have been looking for you. I have been looking for you"

"Really? I am using credit cards...you can follow me"

"Come on S. You learned from me. You are excellent covering your tracks"

"That is true. Big brother" she giggles again.

Chuck sighs. And laughs a little. He is worried as hell and Serena sounds so off, but he knows her and if she feels he is judging her she wil hang up and leave.

"You are older than me S. Now be a good girl and tell me where I am flying. I am going to get you"

"Are you really? Everybody is mad at me. I was Gossip Girl. I... messed up" Serena feels like crying and snifs some cocaine infront of her. "oh this shit is good"

"One of my dealers?"

"Carter`s"

"Ah nice stuff. Now, dearest older sister. Where do I pick you, my darling party princess"

"You should not bother. Everybody hates me"

"That is lie"

"Really?"

"Yes. I don`t hate you" Chuck is getting dressed now. He can listen Serena crying and her breathing is too fast for Chuck to like it.

"You are not going to come..." she says as a fact. "No one ever comes"

"Try me S. Tell me where you are"

Serena is tired of being lonely, high and drunk. She is tired of mindlessly fucking or blowing anyone or anything just to have someone to touch her or to talk to her. She is filfthy and rotten, but she is beautiful and sexy in the outside so she whores herself for a little bit of attention and some oblivion. She is sure that everyone hates her, but Chuck says it is not thruth and she hopes he is not lying.  
>So she answers.<p>

"I am in LA" she whispers and hangs up.

She hopes Chuck comes.

_  
>"Chuck?"<br>"I am leaving. I will come back"  
>"Where are you going? Can`t it wait till tomorrow?"<br>"No. It is Serena"  
>"Serena?" Blair sits straight.<br>"Yes S. The girl that has been missing for two months. Your best friend..."  
>"Former best friend. What she can possibly want? I am sure it can wait till tomorrow"<p>

Chuck stops and stares at Blair, strangely, and looks like he is about to say something, but shakes his head and turns around.

"Chuck, wait..."  
>But Chuck is already in the elevator. His party princess is waiting. <p>


	11. Plan B

_Sooo and update. Sorry is not lazyness. I have a lot of work and I am leaving to vacation soon, so everything is about plans plans plans, and work work work. Have this chapter in my mind for some time now. I want to give thanks to all my dear reviewers. :D Thank you for the encouragement. This chapter mentions very lightly suicide thoughts. I just wanted to say...loneliness and self-hate sometimes bring you to dark places...but when you are there, trust it gets better. And ask for help. It can be a friend, familiar or a professional. You are not alone. Life is very worth living. And it gets better. Really. It does._

* * *

><p>It is easier to say he is coming, than actually doing it. It is a 9 hours flight from Paris to NY, and then he has to get a second airplane all the way to LA, which is at the other side of the country<p>

So Chuck executes plan B. Serena is probably going to be pissed off, but Chuck is desperate. He is afraid.

Serena sounded too far gone, too detached.

He has been there. And he is familiar with the dark thoughts and darker intentions that being lonely and hating yourself can bring. But even as much as Chuck has hated himself, he loves life and that is probably the reason he has survived so much crap (getting shot, accident, heartbroken). The only time he was ready to give up, Blair saved him. Call him back from that darkness.

_(Blair. He has 7 lost calls from Blair and a 3 SMS. He ignores them. There is nothing he can do to solve it)_

Serena, is a creature of light. Chuck understands and survives darkness, because he is darkness, so nothing new there.

_(I am Batman, Nate answered to this little speech once) _

Serena, bright Serena does not understand that darkness. She understands screw ups and drugs and daddy issues, but never loneliness, because Serena is such a sweetheart she has never been really alone. She brings light to the world, lits it up, makes things shine brigther and prettier when she is around.

Until now. And that means she does not understands, and that she can break.

And he cannot allow that.

She is too precious to him , to allow it.

Plan B, requires him to swallow his pride and man up. He does and while he is flying to New York, he dials a Texas mobile number.

_(He just swallows his pride, but if tastes bitter and leaves a knot in his stomach)_

Carter is not amused hearing Chuck`s voice and is about to hang up after sending him to fuck himself where the sun never shines, when Chuck says Serena name.

That gets Carter attention.

"Serena needs help, she is holing up on some LA hotel. One of your dealers got her some drugs, she sounded very high and depressed and..."

Chuck can`t say the words. He can´t. _(Iamscaredshemaydosomethingst upid)_

"And?" Carter says softly. He hates Chuck, thank you very much, but this is not about that bastard, is about Serena, and Carter after all this time, after breaking her heart, he still cares. Cares (loves) Serena enought to swallow his pride and his hate and listen. Because he knows what that and means, and he as Chuck, knows and understands the feeling of being high, depressed and alone. And the ideas related to that feeling.

"I am flying to NY and then to LA. But I don´t know where she is, and I am sure if you make a call to your dealer he can tell you. And then you can go...until I get there. Because you are in Texas so you can get there before I do I...I will pay for everything and..."

"Chuck..."

"Please Carter. Please..." there is too emotion in Chuck`s voice, so much it surprises Carter. Chuck notices too, but Serena brings some many emotions, he is getting used to it.

"Shut up a second baby billionare. I was telling you, you are a lucky bastard. Right this moment I am in LA, and was going to call my dealer for some items...so...move your ass and come over. I will take care of our party queen"

"Thank you...call me when you know anything"

"Sure...and you own me" and Carter hangs up.

Chuck sighs and stares at the phone. The knot dissolves slowly and the bitter taste gets washed by a sip of scotch.

Still 4 hours to land in NY. 


	12. Arrival

Sorry this took so long. GG finished in a fashion I truly did not like and loss the joy of writing about them for a while. I want to finish this story and Broken Bass and maybe some new drabbles.

If anyone out there is still reading, I thank you very much.

Serena can tell someone is calling her name. Not Sabrina or Samantha, but actually her real name. Serena.

She has not been called Serena, for almost two months. After she managed to destroy everything she cares about.

No wait, that is not true. Someone call her Serena recently... She called Chuck, didn`t she? And he said, he was coming to find her.

"Serena" the voice is definitely male.

"Chuck?" she answers, and her voice sounds all wrong. As senses come back, she can start feeling all the little hurts. Her nose is bleeding and it appears she just threw up. She hopes, she did over Chuck`s expensive suit. He deserves that after going back to Blair.

"Come on, beautiful show me those blue eyes" The voice insists and curiosity wins over the pain and confusion.

Carter smiles at her, and she can`t stop feeling a little disappointed. She can`t stop any feeling. In fact all this..is about what she feels, isn't it?

Chuck said he was coming. Where was he?

"Chuck?" she asks again. Maybe Carter knows. The question about how Carter finds her, seems unimportant.

Carter sighs. He does not know what the deal is with Serena and Chuck, and he does not want to know.

"He is coming" he answers and Serena seems to brighten a little about this. He needs to take care of her, make her throw up a little and hydrate her, while the doctor comes here. A good thing about LA is that like NY, you can get private and very discrete doctors.

"Really?" she asks again, suddenly pouting. Her eyes are glassy and her skin is too cold. "He said…he will come. And he did not"

He gently pulls her in a sitting position and cleans the blood from her face. "He was in Paris. He called me. Asked me to find you"

She thinks about it for a second and nods. "So he is coming?"  
>He cleans the drool and vomit from her chin and neck and looks at her drugged and impossible hopeful expression.<p>

"Yes Serena. Chuck is coming. He promise, didn`t he?"

Carter really did not understand what the fuck was going on. But is nice, he guess, Serena found someone who cares enough to call old enemies to help.  
>_<p>

Chuck arrives to find Serena taken care of. She is hooked to an IV line, cleaned up and sleeping. The doctor said she was out of danger but need to be in observation for the next hours and that it was very lucky they found her when they did.

He has been traveling for almost 18 hours, so he more or less collapses in the sofa next to Serena`s bed, the heavy stone in his chest lifting when he sees her, breathing and safe. He loses the jacket and the tie and looks at the man who is staring at him with open curiosity.

"Thank you" he offers. He is in debt with this man, who may be the man he hates the most after Humphrey. He is in debt and he does not regret it.

"She asked for you all the time. She asked and asked when you were coming. Are you guys couple or what? Are you fucking her?"

Well, maybe he regrets it a little tiny bit. Carter is a jerk.

"Is none of your business. Just…she is Serena ok? I can`t…"

"Oh, I am not questioning it. I understand. I am here, I am not? I am here not for you but because she is Serena. But also I thought that you were back to your little brunnete fiery thing"

"That is over…I…" he stops himself, surprised about the statement. It is true he was talking to Blair, about fixing their relationship again. And then Serena called, and all he could think those 18 hours was about blond long hair and mischievous giggles in the middle of the night. And losing them forever,

"It is over" he repeats and looks back at Carter as if daring him to contradict him. The older man just smiles and shrugs. "Good. You can do much better"

Chuck sighs and gets as comfortable as he can. He is exhausted but he does not want to leave her alone. Ever again.  
>_<p>

Serena opens her eyes. Everything hurts. Seems she passed out again. The room is dark, already being night outside.

Where is she?

And suddenly she hears her name. In dark tones and a drawl that can only belong to one person.

"Chuck?"

"Hey princess. Nice to see you waking up, you sleepy head"

He turns on the lamp and loses his breath.

Serena is looking at him, big wide blue eyes and a smile that he is sure would light the room lamp or not lamp.

"You are here…you came…"

The words he speaks after, are an echo of a promise almost a year ago.

"Always S. I will always come for you"


End file.
